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Dear Jen Royle, I Apologize And Humbly Ask For Your Forgiveness For Blogging About Your Unorthodox Business Methods On Social Media

 

A couple days ago South Shore Turtlegirl wrote a blog (which I cleaned up, reworded, and put on TB Daily News) about local TV personality turned restauranteur Jen Royle, after she doxxed and blasted a man for leaving a negative Yelp review.

Back when I was allowed on Twitter Jen Royle followed our original Twitter account. I had no idea who she was, but I saw the large following she had and the blue checkmark, so I figured she was important. Upon a Google review I determined that she was someone it would be beneficial to network with, so I sent her a DM and invited her on the Live show. She ignored that, ended up unfollowing the account, and later threw it in my face that she had rejected my offer to come on the show. However, after bonding over a dislike of Trenni Kusnierek, she followed me back and we became Internet friends once again. I had nothing against Jen Royle, and I respected the way she went at it with some people I didn’t like. This is the extent of my relationship with her.

I had completely forgotten about her until SSTG told me she had gotten a lot of messages in the inbox from people about this particular story. Additionally, the woman who runs the Turtleboy Twitter account @TBSporty was getting tagged a lot in the post that Jen made. So it was a hot topic on a matter of public concern, and featured the kind of behavior that we typically blog about on Turtleboy. For that reason I didn’t object, and the blog really wasn’t that critical of her. If anything SSTG described her as “scissorific,” which sounds like a compliment to me.

However, over the last few days Ms. Royle has become very upset about this, and has been emailing me, and DMing the Twitter account to voice her displeasure. For that reason I would like to apologize to Jen Royle and explain the many ways I am sorry.

(Editor’s note – what is about to begin is something called “sarcasm.” In no way, shape, or form is this an actual apology, and cannot be used against me as an admission of wrongdoing.)

First lets address the email you sent.

You’re right, you have been a big supporter of the blog over the years. Although you haven’t donated, purchased anything, come on the Live show, or even shared one of our blogs on Twitter, that still counts as support.

I’m sorry that one of your employees quit as a direct result of our blog because they allegedly feel scared at work now. I’m sure this is a real thing that happened, even though we didn’t mention the names of any of your employees in the blog.

Although we made no mention whatsoever of your brother or mother, had no idea either of them existed, and certainly wouldn’t know where your brother worked, it is still completely our fault and totally believable that people are harassing him at work as a direct result of the blog. For that I humbly apologize.

You are right about us thinking about how we should think before publishing blogs, as it could hurt people’s feelings. Feelings matter. Upon further review the man who left the negative Yelp review has no feelings, so he’s fair game to be publicly doxxed and humiliated. We are sorry for assuming he had feelings too.

I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you “beyond repair.” Even though you’ve publicly stated that you don’t regret your tweets or the fact that you appeared on Turtleboy, I’m sure that’s just you projecting, and that deep down inside you are damaged beyond repair.

I realize now that living in a 4,000 square foot house equipped with doggie cams doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re not struggling to get by.

I’m glad that your lawyers are “trying to repair” the negative reviews you’ve allegedly received though. Although I haven’t seen any of those reviews, I’m sure that they are real and completely our fault for publishing your public tweets from a verified Twitter account with 31,000 followers. Had we not published the blog there was no way for people to see the things that you were saying, since hardly anyone uses Twitter. Also, any negative reviews are completely our fault for talking about the things you wrote publicly, and aren’t your fault at all for writing these things publicly in the first place.

I apologize for assuming you don’t own every single thing you said. I presumed that the fact that you took down the tweets was evidence that you did in fact regret it at this point. Upon further reflection it’s clear that you took them down because you stood by them.

I apologize for not having access to our fan-run Twitter account, so I was unable to personally respond to your DMs.

I apologize that the woman who runs the account only told you three times that she is just a fan, and has no control of content on the blog. She should’ve told you at least 10-12 more times.

I apologize for assuming that you were calling out a person specifically, as opposed to people who leave bad Yelp reviews in general. I foolishly assumed that by naming the guy on your Twitter account, and then linking your followers to his account, that you were referring to him specifically. This was foolish and ignorant of me.

I’m sorry that the woman who runs the Twitter account invited you on the Live show podcast to clear the air, only to have you change the subject and freak out because random people on Twitter were commenting on your public posts.

Obviously since we are the overlords of the Internet we should’ve used our powers to censor random people we have no connection to.

Additionally, I now recognize that it was completely our fault that people were saying negative things to you on Twitter, and had nothing at all to do with your decision to dox a guy for leaving a negative review of your business.

I hereby express my regret that I assumed your tweets in which you stated, “It in no way whatsoever affects my life,” and “have a fun discussion,” were admissions that you were not affected by the blog, didn’t care about public criticism that came before and after it was published, and didn’t mind people discussing your actions.

In hindsight I was foolish for not seeing that you were merely putting on a tough front, so as not to seem fazed by it.

I also deeply regret that I overlooked and did not report on the fact that 75% of people who come into your restaurant ask to take a picture with you, specifically because they love your spunky attitude on social media.

Had I known the amount of customers who hugged you based on your Twitter attitude I would’ve understood that publicly doxxing a guy is part of a marketing strategy that clearly went above my head.

I apologize for not recognizing that the negative Yelp review wasn’t just a negative review – it was blackmail.

I humbly ask for your apology due to the fact that we were unaware that you contacted the Boston Police over someone making 17 fake Twitter accounts to troll you every time you blocked them.

I would like to apologize for assuming that your post announcing that you would try to have more patience with customers, and vowing not use profanity on social media, was a narcissistic and immature attempt to bring us along on your campaign for personal betterment.

After reflecting on this I now realize that we all deeply care about your personal journey to be the best you, and live your best life. It’s also a great idea that you chose to announce this and talk about it, rather than just not swearing at people on social media who have opinions you don’t like. Without this announcement we would have no idea how you were internalizing this public spectacle, which you had no part in creating.

I apologize for having the audacity to exercise what I thought were my First Amendment rights on the Internet. After receiving your emails I actually read the Constitution and realized that I missed the provision that outlaws using social media to comment on public figures like yourself. Such speech is only to be used on random people of no consequence who leave Yelp reviews.

I am sorry for assuming that the fact that you were a well known person before opening your restaurant would give you an advantage over other people who opened restaurants. I can imagine that most other local business owners also have the advantage of a Twitter account with 31,000 followers that they can use to tweet out support from wealthy public figures, and well known media personalities like Ernie Boch Jr, Curt Schilling, and Jerry Thornton.

I apologize for not inquiring about the amount of charity work you’d done for autistic people and animals before publishing a blog about your public tirade.

This would have changed everything.

In conclusion, I humbly plead for your forgiveness and would once again extend an invitation for you to come on the live show with me tomorrow night so we can discuss this further. I would have the fan account reach out to you on Twitter, but you have blocked her.

This is why I wanted to publish this on here, so that you could read it and understand just how sorry I really am.

 

 

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