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Beacon Hill Moms Are Mad Because Their Dumb Kids Are Getting Burns By Touching A Flaming Hot Turtle Placed In The Middle Of A Playground

 

Fox 25 NewsIs the newest addition to a Beacon Hill playground posing a danger to children?  That’s what some parents believe, and they want to say goodbye to the new “Myrtle the Turtle” sculpture.  The four-foot-long sculpture has made quite the impression since it’s installation just a few weeks ago. But now it’s completely covered up after several complaints of children being burned by touching it.

“Kids were all very excited about the new turtle and they went to touch it,” said Jackie Jowett, a mother in Beacon Hill. 

Jowett is one of the moms who told Boston 25 News that the bronze turtle is bringing an unforeseen problem to Myrtle Street Park. That problem has been growing with the rising temperatures as it absorbs heat from the sun.

“They think it’s a toy,” Jowett said. “It’s hard to keep the kids away from the turtle. There’s nothing to prevent them from running into it.”

Several complaints posted to the city’s 311 app echo similar concerns. One report, featuring a photo of a child says:

My 5-year-old son burned his finger on the turtle this morning. Zoom in you can see the agony in his face. This turtle is a liability on a playground. Please remove.

Another complaint shows a temperature scanner near the shell sitting at 133.7 degrees. With that photo is a simple message:

Kids are getting burned. It is dangerous and should not be in a playground.

“If you see a cute brass turtle you’re going to run toward it,” Beacon Hill mother Brooke Cochran said of children. “And even if you say it’s hot, they’re still going to want to touch.”

The “Myrtle the Turtle” sculpture, worth tens of thousands of dollars, was funded by the Beacon Hill Garden Club and donated to the city.

Some people just weren’t built to ride the turtle. Not the first to get burnt poking the turtle though.

I’m not sure who to root for here, because both sides are so unlikable. On the one hand you have Beacon Hill Becky’s complaining that their free range kids are learning the hard way about convection. If you don’t want your kid to get burn by a golden turtle, then tell them not to touch the bronze turtle. It’s a statue, not a toy. On the bright side, they’ll learn really quickly that metal objects get hot in the sun, and thanks to Pavlov they’ll only need 4-5 reminders. Plus, if you’re a trophy wife who can afford to live in Beacon Hill and go to the park with your kid every day because you can afford to stay home because your husband is making a killing in finance, I instinctively want to root against you.

On the other hand, they built this poor turtle in the middle of a kid’s park.

How is a kid not supposed to think that’s a toy to ride? They’re in a park. When I take my kids to the park they try to ride everything. There’s a 0.0% my kids don’t try to straddle that thing if they see it. It’s irresistible. They even had kids ride it at the unveiling.

 

Note all the moms and beta-dads in skinny jeans sipping their soy lattes in approval. Of course kids are gonna touch the turtle.

Sure, in a perfect world kids would be well behaved, listen to adults, and not do stupid things. But out here in reality we know that 50% of adulting is trying to find ways to prevent your kids from accidental suicide. You might as well put poison Pepa Pig freeze pops in a cooler and tell kids not to eat them. It’s basically the same thing.

So I gotta be honest, I actually agree with the Beacon Hill soccer moms. I say keep the turtle, but build a koi pond moat around it with a 2 foot fence. If your kid is that hellbent on burning himself that he climbs a well and wades through a koi pond, then Darwin will get them eventually.

 

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